Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez had an on-and-off relationship. The exes, who reunited after decades, are now getting divorced. ‘Bennifer’ first shocked the world in 2002 when the couple got engaged. However, they postponed marriage and finally split in 2004. Both the stars lived parallel lives, married other partners and had children. But they got back together in 2021 and their wedding bells rang in July 2022. This wonderful relationship that lasted for decades ended when Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage. The ups and downs of this celebrity relationship have certainly taught us a lesson or two.
Rekindling an ended relationship is as warm and familiar as a bonfire and as hopeful as a sunrise, opening closed doors to create a new perspective. Believe it or not, calling your ex in the middle of the night is a strange tendency that we all have. The disturbing tendency to run back into familiar arms is dangerous and something you must avoid at all costs if you want to keep your sanity. Change is scary, and emotional turmoil can make you seek refuge in familiarity to keep yourself stable. However, don’t confuse familiarity with emotional comfort. No matter how much of an ‘I’ll fix it’ attitude you adopt, it won’t work. Here’s why going back to your ex is a bad idea.
Also read: J.Lo looked after Ben Affleck like a child, but eventually she couldn’t stand him…
Shallow promises
Previously, there were some issues that were not resolved and which led to the end of your relationship. When you go back to your ex-partner, you cannot expect those issues to vanish without a trace. No matter how much a person promises that he will start a new life, he naturally remains the same. It is not humanly possible to change yourself completely from the inside. You can repair the relationship by hoping for a better version of your partner in the recently resumed relationship.
But it is inevitable for you to face old problems that haunt you, opening up emotional wounds. The relationship starts to feel like a vicious circle, and you get stuck in a back-and-forth. You break up, then you miss deeply and forget all the toxicity, and when you come back, you realize why you left in the first place. Only after the agonizing back-and-forth, are you able to see your partner for who they really are. Learn to evaluate both your and your ex’s promises to try something new again. You may be lying to each other with sweet words and smiles in search of unresolved feelings and closure.
Also read: JLo made a request for divorce from Ben Affleck that ‘says a lot’
Missing out on a better match
When you are stuck with your ex and struggling to move on, your vision becomes narrow and closed, causing you to ignore potentially better matches and focus only on finding faults in others. This tunnel vision makes you frown at new prospects, as you start focusing on others’ minor flaws instead of seeing their true worth. Your romanticizing about the past prevents you from fully understanding the possibility of being a match with someone better.
In your mind, your ex-partner is placed on a higher pedestal and they become the parameter of evaluation. Additionally, going back to your ex-partner can be a lost cause, as after the initial days of reconciliation, when old issues resurface, you may find yourself in constant arguments and fights. After your tumultuous breakup, you are back to the drawing board. This can be detrimental to your mental health.
Toxicity has become the new normal
When you settle down with your ex, you adopt the old toxicity and make it your new normal. It becomes so common that you start to accept it as the standard of how you should be treated. Harmful patterns of abusive behavior become rationalized and accepted. As a result, when someone genuinely treats you with respect and kindness, it can feel strange because your romantic experiences have been predominantly toxic. This distorts your perception of real care and affection.
