Earlier this year, I loudly and confidently announced to everyone around me that I would finally give up my fat belly and get back to the flat stomach I had years ago.
I was sure that, with enough discipline, the right diet, and hard workouts, I would be walking proudly in no time.
Those abs have yet to reveal themselves. Keep in mind, not for lack of trying. I have put in the time, Followed routines, studied self-help literature for new tricks that would help me solve the mystery of my missing six-pack. And yet, I stand out, softer around the edges than I thought.
I was warned gently. Dr. Ruchira Tendolkar, a soft-spoken sports-fitness expert at the gym I go to, tried to temper my expectations. “It will take time,” she said.
I was telling her about the literature I was reading, new tricks I had discovered, and ambitious goals I had set for myself.
In other words, I was quoting from the self-help industrial complex; A multi-million-dollar industry based on the idea that to accomplish a goal, all it takes is willpower and a multi-step program.
Every element of this industry, from books and vlogs to reels and videos, revolves around the “See?” Gives message of. It’s that simple. You can do it too!”
Spoiler alert: No, I couldn’t. My slow metabolism is simply a medical fact. Willpower cannot change this. I began to battle this fact while pursuing the goal I had set for myself. I changed my diet, added supplements, followed a rigorous exercise program carefully, even when the body and mind were demanding a break.
The more I tried to “hack” my body, the less cooperative it became. It was as if my metabolism had developed a rebellious streak.
I went from determination to despair…to amusement. The body doesn’t care how many motivational quotes you consume and abs don’t appear because you worked hard enough to get them.
I began to admit to myself what I think we all know at our core. Fitness influencers are actually addressing a small demographic: people with a certain perceived fitness level at a certain stage of their lives. On the slightest touch, I wish they would acknowledge it, so that their constant positivity doesn’t make a mockery of their audience’s ongoing struggle.
For my part, I’m willing to accept that my fitness journey will be less like a race and more like a long, slow walk, with the destination constantly out of view, but at least one on the right path.
I will happily admit that Dr. Tendulkar was right. It takes time. There’s nothing – at least, nothing healthy and sustainable – anyone can do to change this.
There’s something liberating about finally giving up the obsessive pursuit of that six-pack.
I can now enjoy the process of getting fit. My workouts have stopped rushing toward an unrealistic goal, and have become something I look forward to. I love the way my body feels stronger and more capable, even if the abs aren’t working yet.
Maybe that was the lesson I needed: that some things take time, even in the age of AI. That everything is not in my control.
That, sometimes, the best hack is to stop and slow down the hacking; Appreciate the journey. Time itself is such a gift. Why fill every minute with tasks and expectations when we can enjoy it?
Something about turning 50 makes me realize that the point isn’t to “win the race.” In fact, it’s like racing off all the time.
(Charles Assisi is co-founder of Founding Fuel. He can be contacted at assisi@foundingfuel.com)
